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December 3, 2018
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December 17, 2018

You Can Learn a Lot About Living From the Dying


Kindness is a language - famous Mark Twain quote printed on grunge vintage cardboard

Bits and Pieces of God

You can learn a lot about living from the dying.

I have a good friend that is very special to me that I have been looking after for just shy of about two years now. She was not well when I first met her; that was why I was designated by the courts to be her guardian. And I took the job very seriously.

In the course of our time together, I had the privilege of learning who she was as a person, how she lived and what she believed. Even though her dementia was increasing exponentially, I was still able to mine a few golden nuggets of truth about life from her. She is now in hospice and her final transition is imminent. We are at the end of our time together. And with all this as a backdrop, I find myself grateful today. Regardless all the things that I did for her, what she did for me was even greater.

She gave me a place to practice my kindness.

I made hundreds, if not thousands of decisions, big and little, on her behalf. With each one, I did what was in her best interest, always. Her needs determined my actions. I was a steward of her safety; I was the director of her happiness. I was the protector of her rights. The more I did it, the better I got at it. In all reality, I only did what I hope someone would do for me someday if I was in the same situation.

She reminded me that we must be of service to all. We need to drop off little bits and pieces of God everywhere we go. She reminded me that despite the size of the mountain before us, with God’s Help, that sucker is coming down. She reminded me just how fulfilling this process actually is. Once she passes, a part of me will go with her. My heart is heavy today. She has been a catalyst for spiritual growth for me and a very good friend. We may bury her soon, but what she taught me will last a lifetime and beyond.

God, thank you for Jan. She’s all yours now.

Jim 🌈

James A. Francetich is a freelance writer and author. The opinions expressed are solely of the author and do not represent any community based recovery programs, private or public entities or any governmental agencies.

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  • Louann
    I'm beyond thankful that I chose Rocky Mountain Treatment Center for inpatient treatment. It wasn't my first rodeo, but definitely my last. I learned about myself and left with the tools I need to live a sober happy life. I can now be the woman my family needs me to be. The staff is beyond amazing! Especially the ones that you see every day. They have all been where you are at, and openly share their stories and insight. I made friends there that I keep in contact with on a regular basis. The first treatment center I went to seemed sterile and hospital like. Rocky Mountain is small enough that you get lots of help to work on you! I am coming up on 5 months sober now. I know it is up to me, but I wouldn't be in this great place without them!
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    Absolutely changed my life. This is not a facility that you go to to just quit drinking or drugging. The staff there cares deeply about every aspect of your life...therefore you leave there a changed person. I had to want to trust the process. But when I did, everything I needed prepared me for the the journey ahead as I walked out those doors to face an uncertain world. I didn't want to leave but I had all of the tools I needed. And....I had access to counselors afterwards through aftercare as well. I refer all those I come in contact that have a need to Rocky Mountain Treatment Center first. I am forever grateful to them.
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