We Are Not Going To Worry About That Today
Today, I wish to talk to you about the importance of being deliberate in our behavior. Deliberateness is the tool for relinquishing worry.
I have found that trying to explain to a worrier they are worrying is like trying to describe water to a fish. They are so steeped in it that it has become the norm. Worriers don’t even know that they are worrying and that worrying is their biggest problem. They believe that they are just mentally working on the problem, figuring it out. They believe they are just being responsible. This is part of the denial of worry.
The Good Book tells us that worry is torment. Boy, that is the truth. As a recovering worrier, this truth is what is setting me free. It has not been an easy process, but it is a productive one. Allow me to share the greatest realization that has helped me transition to a man of trust from a man of worry. This may not apply to you, but it sure applies to me:
Worry is just another form of selfishness.
We worry about things not going our way because we think we deserve everything and are bothered about it when it doesn’t happen. It says that we will only accept things that go our way and will fight the things that don’t. We choose to worry about things that we can’t control and live in a constant state of frustration because we do. And it all comes down to a concern about self, always. Even if we are worried about someone else, it is because we love them and we don’t want bad things to happen to them because it will hurt our feelings. Any way you slice it, it still comes down to how we selfishly look at the world. If I ever want to be free of worry, I must be free of my addiction to self. I’m not much, but I am all I think about. If this sounds familiar, continue reading.
I abandoned such pursuits because the worry was killing me. The law of diminishing returns kicked in; it was costing me more than what I was getting out of it. In my effort to get more out of life, I created most of the things that I worried about in the first place. Worry was not going to get me out of the mess that worry created.
So, I had to learn how to live selflessly. And I do mean learn. All of my default settings pointed in the direction of me and it was going to take a lot of work and time to undo such a rigid system of thought and feeling. The bottom line was I had to abandon the worst habit that I ever had, trying to control the world with the creative and imaginative use of worry. Until I quit worrying about me, I couldn’t quit worrying.
I know this is hard stuff. This may be the hardest of stuff. Putting self aside is the battle every person wages in every generation. But until we face and accept the grim reality of what we are doing to ourselves through subliminal selfishness via worry, nothing is ever going to get any better and that will worry us. But we are not going to worry about that today.
Thank you
Jim
James A. Francetich is a freelance writer and author. The opinions expressed are solely of the author and do not represent any community based recovery programs, private or public entities or any governmental agencies.