Am I Really an Alcoholic?
I guarantee you that there are many people out there today that are asking themselves this very question. You may be one of them. It is probably the most important question an alcoholic will ever ask themselves. How do we really know?
I have had to answer this question myself. I tried to answer it thousands of times in thousands of different ways. I always knew that I had some problems related to my alcohol use, but an alcoholic? That’s some pretty harsh language, isn’t it? I can report to you today in complete honesty that I answered that question with a no for the first 48 years of my life and answered it with a yes since that time.
The bottom line is that I am the only person that can diagnose myself with alcoholism. Sure, I could go see a doctor, psychiatrist or chemical dependency counselor and answer all of their questions. All I’m going to get from them is their medical opinion, which I may or may not accept. All during the time that I refused to admit I was an alcoholic, I had many people tell me I was an alcoholic: parents, spouses, chemical dependency counselors, mental health professionals, physicians, employers, friends and enemies alike. My alcoholism was as clear as the nose on my face. I was the one that chose not to see it. Until I was willing to admit my alcoholism, I was just a really disappointing drunk without hope or redemption.
The silver lining to this cloud, which there always is one, is once I was able to admit to my alcoholism, I finally had a chance to get better. The first of the 12 steps starts with “we admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become manageable.” When you accept this fact, alcoholism can stop being a curse, and can transform into a blessing.
So if you’re asking yourself this question today, the answer is very simple: only you know if you’re an alcoholic or not.
Remember, most non-alcoholics don’t even bother asking themselves this question. Only you can determine when you’re drinking has caused enough damage that you no longer want any more damage. Don’t get caught up in the semantics. The choice to quit using is less a matter of giving up your favorite substance and more a matter of gaining the tools of emotional housekeeping, resulting in a better life than we could’ve ever imagined when we were three sheets to the wind.
I will close by saying that no one expects you to do this alone. You’re incapable of it or you would’ve done it already. The same was true for all of us. We’re all in this together. If you decide you really are an alcoholic, see it as potential good news. You will be in good company and you’ll never be alone again. Wouldn’t it be a refreshing change to actually find out what the problem really was, that it was you and you could do something about it?
I think so.
I really am an alcoholic and thank God for that.
Thank you
Jim
James A. Francetich is a freelance writer and author. The opinions expressed are solely of the author and do not represent any community based recovery programs, private or public entities or any governmental agencies